It finally dawn to me how being mentally abused all this while has changed the way I think of things. During dinner yesterday, she compared me to other fathers, saying that other father take care of their children. As if I never take care of my kids. And the funny thing is on the opposite table, there is one father who I can say take good care of his kid. But you know what, while he was eating, the kid fell off the chair by himself.
Do you know what the thought that goes thru my mind? If it was me, it will be my fault for not looking at my kids. I'm always thinking of eating only, never take care of my kids. It doesn't matter what I do before the kid fell off, I never look after them. I will be scolded and made guilty. And this incident will be brought up repeatedly until don't know when to make me feel guily. Oh another favourite term, "Only I do this", same meaning as you never do this. Only I pay for the electric and water bill, you only waste them. So since she pays for it, I should not use it? But when I don't use it like washing my clothes, she say I should use my brain to think and use it. Huh? Got scolded for using it, got scolded for not using it also.
The question now is what do I do about this, since I recognise the problem?